Do you belong to a cycling group? While there are numerous benefits of cycling alone, cycling with a group is a lot of fun and great for motivation. However, there are several downfalls in group cycling. Or rather, there are several types of people that suck the joy out of cycling.

You know who I’m talking about. if you don’t then you’re probably one of them. If people are dodging eye contact with you, you might want to go easy on your go-to type before the group takes a vote. And, they’re not voting you the leader, most likely to succeed, or most popular. They are voting you most annoying cycling or to kick you out of the group. What are the types of annoying cyclists?

Take it Easy Lizzy

This is the cyclist who proclaims every ride that they’re going to, “take it easy”. This person had a rough week, didn’t get enough sleep, had a sick kid, pulled a muscle, or got hurt during the last ride. There is always something wrong with them.

Hungry Harriet

Next up, is Hungry Harriet. This person can’t wait for the stops. They’re always asking, “Where are we going to eat today? When is the next stopping point? How many miles are left?” They are obsessed with eating and breaks.

Forgetful Fred

Forgetful Fred never brings anything with him. Anything! He forgets his wallet for lunch. If his tire goes flat, he must borrow a tire pump. Let’s not forget the headache pills, sunscreen, sunglasses, or tools. He doesn’t bring those either. The only thing he brings is new life to the word, “mooch”.

Late Kate

Who is Late Kate? Late Kate is the woman that shows up 30 minutes after the ride is scheduled to start. To get her there on time, the leader must tell her to meet 30 minutes earlier than the event is scheduled to begin and she still drives up at the last second.

Social Media Maddie

Social Media Maddie must document everything. As everyone arrives, she’s taking shots. When you get ready to take off, she’s posting videos online. When the first person takes a spill, instead of checking to make sure their okay, she’s taking “still shots” of the road rash.

Gear Snob Gary

Gear Snob Gary is dressed in head to toe pro cycling gear of his favorite “active” cyclist. He’s got it all. Unfortunately, he considers himself a part of the pro cycling team and constantly talks about the riders like they’re his best friends, but he’s never met them.

Anti-Gear Snob Bob

This man is the antitheses of Gear Snob Gary. They can’t stand each other. Bob looks like he’s straight out of an 80’s cycling club with short-shorts, mullet, and headband. Banana seat anyone?

Can’t Be Beat Pete

Ah, Peter. He’s got to be the winner. Must be the oldest child in his family. If he’s riding beside someone, he’s got to be slightly in front. He’s always pushing ahead until he’s in front of the leader. Way in front of the leader.

Susie Talks a Lot

Susie Talks a Lot is always chatting away. Even when no one is listening to her. Sadly, she never notices that everyone is always replying, “Uh huh,” “Sure,” and “That’s right,” but they have no idea what she’s talking about.

Advice Giver Abby

Ms. Abby is an expert cyclist. She loves to share her wisdom with those cyclists around her. When a new rider joins she’s the first to buddy up to them. Unfortunately, her steady stream of, “Don’t lean back like that,” Sit like this,” “You’re turning to sharp”, “You’re eating that?”, and “I would never get my gear at a discount store”, turns off even the most pleasant rider.

In Conclusion

Did this make you laugh? Good, you’re not one of the annoying types of cyclists. Not laughing? Do you get blank stares when you ask where and when to meet next? People don’t like to lie but encouraging you to come along is not top of their priorities. Stop it or go ride solo!